Analysis of a Tara-style MLP:FIM fanfic

I do not own this story, I wish I did. I am only wanting to analyse the well executed trolling because I find this amusing. IF U DONET LIEK GTFO, as one of my idols Tara once said... That said, let the games begin! 

Im nut ok i promiss

authors nute- hay peeps im goin 2 try writin a stroy 4 my littel pwny becaus da new show roks as much as GC. all goffik peeps pls reveiw. evry1 else GET DA FUCK OTTA HERE!

chapta 1- da nite dhat changd everythang

hi my name is Nite Black Histeria Moon Star Sparkel [fantastic name, I couldn't have done it better myself.]. i liv in ponyvill and run a goffik clothin stoore (an- lik hot topik lol [I love gratuitous lols. Lol.]). im goffik and a loner and only reli on my sistar Twilite Sparkkel 4 thangs[SHAKE THAT THANG].

i had 2 run teh store 2day [not any other day, just today, y'know] soo i put on my blak lacy corset and blak pufffy skirt wit 4 blak lather hi heeled shoes [trust me, I am making an effort, but ponies with high heels is just weird!]. i put a blak ring dhat sad 666 on it (an-im a athest who warships satin) on my horn [horn jewllery ftw!]  and put MCR (dhey fukin rok!) bands on mah wings.

"hay bitch" twilite said as i was gong to work.

"hay slut" i retorted [the art of retorting].

"u look kawaii" she went.

"so do u lol [GL]" i said. she was wearin a purpel gothik dress wit blak fishnet stokings.

"i hav 2 rite a friendshit letta 2 dhat fukin prep Celesta. i HATE DHAT FUCKIN BATCH [YEAH! Damn that batch of cookies]!" twilite yelled.

"lol i do too. shes almost as much of a fukin prep as dhat bitch Rareity. i gotta go hore[I think she meant whore]." i said.

[I don't like the fact that Celestia and Rarity have to be preps... MY GOFFIK LOVE FOR THEM IS FORBIDDEN]

i went 2 mah shoop then.

on my way i passed Rareities fashon shop and her and a bunch of othar preps laughed at me. i put my middel finga up at dhem [pony middle finger?] and dhey gasped and ran inside.

i got 2 me shop and sold a bunch of stuff and shit [I want to see her business plan so badly!] wen som1 cam in da door.

it was…..BAG MAKINTOSH!1 [holy crap a customer!]

"hay" he said in a drepressed way.

he was SO fukin hot. he had on a linkin park tshirt wit 4 blak sk8tar shoes on his hoofs. he had died [I guess that's a goffik thing to do] his maine [oh... nevermind] black and wore tons of blak eyelinar. he looked jus like Gerard Way in da musik video 4 Helana where he sang sexily into da mike [except, you know, a pony].

"hay" i said bak bluching [the art of...].

"i hav tikets 2 da MCR concert tonite. u wanna go wit me?1" he axed [I can't help but picture BM smashing an axe on the counter as he says this...]

"O MY FUKIN GOD! i FUCKIN LUV MCR!" i screemed.

"will u go dhen" he askd agian [cause he was a bit slow].

"sure" i said goffikally.[the art of...]

l8tar dhat nite me and twilite got redy 4 da concert. Bag macintosh came in appeljaks truk but it was painted blak. it had bumpa stikers 4 evanesence, gc, marilon manson and otter gothik bands on it. we all did crack, coke, weed, and alcholol on da way 2 da koncert.

wen we got dhere i startred 2 screem beecause gerard way came on da stage.

gerard and da band sang da song Ghost of U

"at da end of da wrold or da last thing i see you r nevar cumin home never cumin home" gerard sang.

just dhen i saw Bag Mac gettin an eruction [BURP]. he locked away embarased.

"its ok" i said. "i think sensative bi-ponys r really hot" (an-if ur a homophube dhen GTFO)

"ur so kool Nite Spakel" he went puttin hiss hoovs around me [how?].

"yah lol"[GL. Also, big headed much?]

afta da concart Bag Mak drov his truck into Evarfree Forest.

"y r we here?" i asked.

"Nite sparkel i brought u to da concart beecause i had to tell u somthang" he said staring at me wit longin in his eyes.

"wut?" i retarted [*retarded].

"i cant tell u so maybee dhis song will help u undarstand"

just dhen he started to sing 'Wak me up Inside" [I have listened to this song and, although slightly related, I'm sure he could have picked a better one] lik a male versian of Amy Lee.

"do u-" i stated to say b4

"YES I LUV U NITE SPARKEL. MORE DHAN DA WORLD ITSELF!1" [I SCREAM! YOU SCREAM! WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!]

just dhen we started takin off eachotters cloths and got on da hood of da kar [wait a sec... 1. It's a truck, so it has basically no hood; 2. The hood of a car can support the weight of two ponies?]. he stuk his Big Mac into mine [she has a penis? What? I'm throughly confused now.] and we did it 4 da 1st tim.

Twilite thuoght we were kute [when did she get here?!]. "Kawaii" she sad watchin us do it. i kud tell she was turned on by da lock in her eyes.

suddenly we herd some1 yell. "WAT DA FUCK R U DOIN U MOTHERFUKERS!"

it was…..Princess Celerstia!1

[good chapter, nice use of the cliffhanger technique to keep the readers interested]

Grammar Nazi Part 2

Following a recent bus stop conversation with my boyfriend and the incompetence of some of my teachers, I was inspired to make a second part of basic grammar mistakes that annoy the hell out of me.


     1. Principle and Principal - An easy one to distinguish if you think about it, which seems like the catchphrase for most of the mistakes out there. To clarify:

• Principle - An accepted or professed rule of action or conduct. For example, "One of my principles is not to kill; you are making it hard to adhere to with your bad grammar."
• Principal - As an adjective it is the first or highest in rank, importance, value, etc.; chief or foremost. For example, "My principal principle is not to lie".

A teacher in my school was prattling on about the importance of writing our dissertations correctly, using "appropriate grammar" and "intellectual diction"... She actually posed principle and principal as an example for someone was talking about the principals behind the justice system. Her wise, caring words protecting the English language were still echoing in my ears when she handed me my draft back. And our dear friend Murphy stroke again: she had made the mistake that she had just preached about in a side note written on my paper.


     2. Effect and Affect - Two very different words that are also easily misused. To clarify:

• Effect - It is something that is produced by an agency or cause, a result, a consequence. For example, "This blog post has had a deep effect on me."
• Affect - This means to act on; produce an effect or change in. For example, "I have been affected by a very wise blogger".

That said, I have probably made mistakes in this post (Murphy loves me). Feel free to correct me and post your own grammar nazi advice in the comments.

All the definitions are taken from dictionary.com. Just sayin'.

The Polyopinonist

My Immortal

So bad it's good. Those are the usual terms to describe a person's reaction to this famed fanfiction. My Immortal is a fanfiction very loosely based on the Potterverse but its most remarkable quality is the fact that it ticks all boxes in the check list "Things fanfiction should NEVER EVER do".


Let's analyse the first sentence (trust me, it's enough):


"Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)."


Her name is the most ridiculous over the top Mary Sue this I have ever read, not to mention the gratuitous apostrophe in Dark'ness... On the topic of her hair, I thought babies had a very indefinite light-ish hair colour until they grew up. My friend had blonde hair until the age of 3 and now he has dark brown hair (AN: Robz dunt u luv how i ttly mentiund u ther??//?). Also, how does the red tips thing work? Surely when she cuts it off the red tips are cut? Or perhaps after a certain length the hair turns red inexplicably... I love how her tears are blue, how else is one to have "blue eyes like limpid tears"? Amy Lee references are the first indication that this will be very loosely based on Harry Potter, because, let's face it, how many of the actual Harry Potter characters have heard of Amy Lee?


If people like these I'll make some more... I can analyse my ass off because I really love picking holes in horrendously bad stuff :P

Nerdfighteria

Hello all,

Lately I've had a comeback to all my nerdfighteria by watching the vlogbrothers videos again, it has been a fun run and I'm enjoying going back into that community.

And in the last few days, since John's last "Thoughts from Places" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X6q7nt15uk&feature=channel - the nerdfighter community got together to investigate who was Gussie Audrey and why she hadn't been buried with her husband. After many speculations with nerdfighters and a thread in your pants - http://yourpants.org/showthread.php?3933-What-is-Gussie-Audrey-Manlove-s-Story&highlight=gussie - we have found her and learnt all her story. Hank presented it in his video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-cdcb5gYt0&feature=feedu - which was as usual awesome.

If you don't know who the vlogbrothers are I strongly suggest you check them out. There is an introductory video to them on their youtube channel - http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers#p/u/0/FyQi79aYfxU.

Enjoy!

Polyopinionist