Monday, 27 August 2012

Rat. Wedding. Bow.

Hello there Sherlockians... I suspect that you have been avidly theorising the last two days in regards to the dreaded rat, wedding, bow conundrum.

I have been doing some tumblr research and here I present my findings. Feel free to contribute to my theories in the comments, I will make a video of this debate once I've mulled over it a little more.

We have his tweet and this video as base knowledge:

So here is what we know:
  • The three words for the last time were woman, hound and fall. This was easily relatable to Irene Adler and thus The Great Game, The Hounds of Baskervilles and The Final Problem in which the Reichenbach falls were mentioned.
  • Moffat stated that anyone with knowledge of the series would be able to guess which episodes the words referred to.
  • Mofftiss said that there are still many stories to be told in the Sherlock universe and that season 3 will end with a cliffhanger. Therefore we have fairly strong indications that it will continue for further series.


Possibilities here include the following episodes:
  • The Sussex Vampire: this story makes reference to the giant rat of Sumatra, which is quite a clear link to rat. 
  • The Boscombe Valley Mystery: in this story there is a vague reference to a rat, since a man last words were rat, later found to mean Ballarat.
  • The Empty House: According to this website, Gatiss confirmed that season 3 would start with an adaptation of this episode, since it is the next one chronologically, the one where Sherlock comes back.
So here we have it, as far as I can see I bet on the first episode being a combination of The Empty House and The Sussex Vampire for the teaser of rat.


Everyone here seems to be thinking that this is about John and Mary's wedding, but I differ in opinion. If it were John and Mary's wedding, it would be chronologically taken forward a lot and Mofftiss have said that they are looking forward to growing up with the characters as we have met them very young. I doubt that they skip forward so fast therefore I will not consider wedding to refer to this.

Let us consider what other adventures refer to weddings. Now, many adventures mention weddings in passing but here are the ones in which they are central to the story:
  • The Noble Bachelor: In this adventure a bride attends a wedding but disappears from the reception so it is a possibility.
  • Charles Augusts Milverton: In this adventure a blackmailer breaks engagements for a debutante and therefore a definite possibility.
It is difficult to draw a conclusion here but it would be fairly safe to say that wedding is not referring to John and Mary's wedding.


It has been confirmed by various sources of the internet, that bow is to be pronounced as "take a bow" or "bow to the queen" rather than "bow-tie" or "the bow of a violin" but this has not been confirmed.

Now, a lot of people think it could be a reference to the episode His Last Bow but this is the last adventure in the universe of Sherlock Holmes. Since Mofftiss want to continue and since this is the only episode that I can link to bow, I suppose it will be an adaptation of His Last Bow.

And here concludes my investigation! Tell me what you think in the comments and we can defeat Mofftiss!


DISCLAIMER: I am in no way an expert and have based myself of off many things that I have found all over the internet. I am not asserting which adventures are going to be made into episodes but only giving my humble opinion.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Pokemon: Yay or Nay?

Hello internet,

So recently I've had discussions with a few of my friends who used to be pokemon fans but who no longer play; I was asking them why they stopped or why don't they pick it back up. The main reasons were as follows:
  1. They were no longer indoors-y people and did outdoor activities with other... people *shivers*
  2. The old games' graphics were crappy and the new games had weird pokemon
  3. Their console had broken and they hadn't bothered to get a new one.
Anyways,  as a person who still plays pokemon I would like to put my side of the argument forward:
  1. I do outdoors-y activities but I combine that with indoors ones. For example I'll play pokemon on the bus or in bed.
  2. The crappy graphics are part of the experience and thus I still play yellow no problem. Also, there are remastered versions of the old games such as Fire Red (remastered version of Red) and Soul Silver (remastered version of Silver) which are playable on the DS.
  3. My sister and I bought two SPs with a whole bunch of games and accessories for £50 and that is a fairly good deal considering we sold our GBA for £20 as well.
So, what do you guys think? Let me know in the comments your relationship with pokemon games (or even trading cards and the TV series, neither of which I've been into too much).


Monday, 14 May 2012

5 Awesome Horror/Gore Films

Ok, who here doesn't like a good hour and a half of getting totally psychologically scarred while people get chopped up?... Oh right, feel free to leave then because this won't really be your cup of tea.

Right, now that the strange ones have left let's continue: now, I would say I have a very particular taste in horror films but I am always up for trying new things so if you have a favourite that has not been mentioned here post it in the comments and I will definitely check it out. I've resticted myself to five movies so that I make a careful selection but if you guys like this I can make another post with a further five.

So, in no particular order here are five of my favourite horror movies:

The Saw series - This is a riveting series based around the character of Jigsaw who traps criminals in positions where they must make a sacrifice to live. With truly gruesome sequences all the 7 of the films are worth a watch and a rewatch. Check it out if you like gore with a good dose of mindfuck but a minimal amount of frights.

The Children - This film begins with the perfect recipie for disaster: two families at Christmas-time alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Not until the 15th minute do you begin to see some of those things that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. From there on a progression of more and more gruesome accidents happen until the movie ends with an outright blood-fest carried out by the children. Watch it if you like creepy children taken to the extreme.

Drag Me To Hell - One of the few of these that I watched in the cinema so my experience of it was amazing. A curse is placed upon a young woman after evicting an old lady from her home and accidents become creepier and scarier until the movie ends at a real high. This movie heard me scream twice in a public place so I can guarantee that it's not for the faint of heart. Watch it if you like suspense building and epic culminations.

Session 9 - A movie that I have recently watched, which is the creepiest in terms of ambience. The background music, mostly lone piano notes, adds an effect of eerieness that was only heightened by the huge abandoned mental asylum it takes place in. Check out this film if you like being creeped out of your skin and gore in the last 20 minutes of film.

Orphan - This is the film that I suggest to someone if they haven't ever really gotten into horror films because for me it ticks all the boxes. It has a creepy kid; a happy family with a dark past in a big house in the middle of nowhere; slow psychological breakdown of everyone and a final 30 minutes that are action packed and very scary indeed.

So, you may notice a lack of zombie movies but I am yet to watch one that strikes me as much as these films above have despite me being a good fan of Dawn of the Dead and the Resident Evil franchise.

So, what are your favourites?

Saturday, 12 May 2012

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries

*queue excuses on busyness of life and non-updating for such reason*

Hello internet,

I would like to talk to you about something that I have lately fallen in love with: the Lizzie Bennet diaries. If you have read Pride and Prejudice you will be all too familiar with the tales of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy but had you ever wondered what the story would be like if it were set in modern USA? Well, Hank Green from the vlogbrothers did, and thus the Lizzie Bennet diaries were born. These diaries are teh online modernized adaptation of P&P and take form in bi-weekly youtube videos by Lizzie, her sisters, and her friend Charlotte.

I have been throroughly enjoying them and would kindly suggest you check them out too, so here's the link dump:

You can find her sisters' accounts from those on. Now go watch!

Marllasco (yeah, I'm rebranding)

Monday, 24 October 2011

Analysis of a Tara-style MLP:FIM fanfic

I do not own this story, I wish I did. I am only wanting to analyse the well executed trolling because I find this amusing. IF U DONET LIEK GTFO, as one of my idols Tara once said... That said, let the games begin! 

Im nut ok i promiss
authors nute- hay peeps im goin 2 try writin a stroy 4 my littel pwny becaus da new show roks as much as GC. all goffik peeps pls reveiw. evry1 else GET DA FUCK OTTA HERE!
chapta 1- da nite dhat changd everythang
hi my name is Nite Black Histeria Moon Star Sparkel [fantastic name, I couldn't have done it better myself.]. i liv in ponyvill and run a goffik clothin stoore (an- lik hot topik lol [I love gratuitous lols. Lol.]). im goffik and a loner and only reli on my sistar Twilite Sparkkel 4 thangs[SHAKE THAT THANG].
i had 2 run teh store 2day [not any other day, just today, y'know] soo i put on my blak lacy corset and blak pufffy skirt wit 4 blak lather hi heeled shoes [trust me, I am making an effort, but ponies with high heels is just weird!]. i put a blak ring dhat sad 666 on it (an-im a athest who warships satin) on my horn [horn jewllery ftw!]  and put MCR (dhey fukin rok!) bands on mah wings.
"hay bitch" twilite said as i was gong to work.
"hay slut" i retorted [the art of retorting].
"u look kawaii" she went.
"so do u lol [GL]" i said. she was wearin a purpel gothik dress wit blak fishnet stokings.
"i hav 2 rite a friendshit letta 2 dhat fukin prep Celesta. i HATE DHAT FUCKIN BATCH [YEAH! Damn that batch of cookies]!" twilite yelled.
"lol i do too. shes almost as much of a fukin prep as dhat bitch Rareity. i gotta go hore[I think she meant whore]." i said.
[I don't like the fact that Celestia and Rarity have to be preps... MY GOFFIK LOVE FOR THEM IS FORBIDDEN]
i went 2 mah shoop then.
on my way i passed Rareities fashon shop and her and a bunch of othar preps laughed at me. i put my middel finga up at dhem [pony middle finger?] and dhey gasped and ran inside.
i got 2 me shop and sold a bunch of stuff and shit [I want to see her business plan so badly!] wen som1 cam in da door.
it was…..BAG MAKINTOSH!1 [holy crap a customer!]
"hay" he said in a drepressed way.
he was SO fukin hot. he had on a linkin park tshirt wit 4 blak sk8tar shoes on his hoofs. he had died [I guess that's a goffik thing to do] his maine [oh... nevermind] black and wore tons of blak eyelinar. he looked jus like Gerard Way in da musik video 4 Helana where he sang sexily into da mike [except, you know, a pony].
"hay" i said bak bluching [the art of...].
"i hav tikets 2 da MCR concert tonite. u wanna go wit me?1" he axed [I can't help but picture BM smashing an axe on the counter as he says this...]
"O MY FUKIN GOD! i FUCKIN LUV MCR!" i screemed.
"will u go dhen" he askd agian [cause he was a bit slow].
"sure" i said goffikally.[the art of...]
l8tar dhat nite me and twilite got redy 4 da concert. Bag macintosh came in appeljaks truk but it was painted blak. it had bumpa stikers 4 evanesence, gc, marilon manson and otter gothik bands on it. we all did crack, coke, weed, and alcholol on da way 2 da koncert.
wen we got dhere i startred 2 screem beecause gerard way came on da stage.
gerard and da band sang da song Ghost of U
"at da end of da wrold or da last thing i see you r nevar cumin home never cumin home" gerard sang.
just dhen i saw Bag Mac gettin an eruction [BURP]. he locked away embarased.
"its ok" i said. "i think sensative bi-ponys r really hot" (an-if ur a homophube dhen GTFO)
"ur so kool Nite Spakel" he went puttin hiss hoovs around me [how?].
"yah lol"[GL. Also, big headed much?]
afta da concart Bag Mak drov his truck into Evarfree Forest.
"y r we here?" i asked.
"Nite sparkel i brought u to da concart beecause i had to tell u somthang" he said staring at me wit longin in his eyes.
"wut?" i retarted [*retarded].
"i cant tell u so maybee dhis song will help u undarstand"
just dhen he started to sing 'Wak me up Inside" [I have listened to this song and, although slightly related, I'm sure he could have picked a better one] lik a male versian of Amy Lee.
"do u-" i stated to say b4
just dhen we started takin off eachotters cloths and got on da hood of da kar [wait a sec... 1. It's a truck, so it has basically no hood; 2. The hood of a car can support the weight of two ponies?]. he stuk his Big Mac into mine [she has a penis? What? I'm throughly confused now.] and we did it 4 da 1st tim.
Twilite thuoght we were kute [when did she get here?!]. "Kawaii" she sad watchin us do it. i kud tell she was turned on by da lock in her eyes.
suddenly we herd some1 yell. "WAT DA FUCK R U DOIN U MOTHERFUKERS!"
it was…..Princess Celerstia!1
[good chapter, nice use of the cliffhanger technique to keep the readers interested]

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Grammar Nazi Part 2

Following a recent bus stop conversation with my boyfriend and the incompetence of some of my teachers, I was inspired to make a second part of basic grammar mistakes that annoy the hell out of me.

     1. Principle and Principal - An easy one to distinguish if you think about it, which seems like the catchphrase for most of the mistakes out there. To clarify:
    • Principle - An accepted or professed rule of action or conduct. For example, "One of my principles is not to kill; you are making it hard to adhere to with your bad grammar."
    • Principal - As an adjective it is the first or highest in rank, importance, value, etc.; chief or foremost. For example, "My principal principle is not to lie".
A teacher in my school was prattling on about the importance of writing our dissertations correctly, using "appropriate grammar" and "intellectual diction"... She actually posed principle and principal as an example for someone was talking about the principals behind the justice system. Her wise, caring words protecting the English language were still echoing in my ears when she handed me my draft back. And our dear friend Murphy stroke again: she had made the mistake that she had just preached about in a side note written on my paper.

     2. Effect and Affect - Two very different words that are also easily misused. To clarify:
    • Effect - It is something that is produced by an agency or cause, a result, a consequence. For example, "This blog post has had a deep effect on me."
    • Affect - This means to act on; produce an effect or change in. For example, "I have been affected by a very wise blogger".
That said, I have probably made mistakes in this post (Murphy loves me). Feel free to correct me and post your own grammar nazi advice in the comments.

All the definitions are taken from Just sayin'.

The Polyopinonist

Sunday, 6 March 2011

My Immortal

So bad it's good. Those are the usual terms to describe a person's reaction to this famed fanfiction. My Immortal is a fanfiction very loosely based on the Potterverse but its most remarkable quality is the fact that it ticks all boxes in the check list "Things fanfiction should NEVER EVER do".

Let's analyse the first sentence (trust me, it's enough):

"Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)."

Her name is the most ridiculous over the top Mary Sue this I have ever read, not to mention the gratuitous apostrophe in Dark'ness... On the topic of her hair, I thought babies had a very indefinite light-ish hair colour until they grew up. My friend had blonde hair until the age of 3 and now he has dark brown hair (AN: Robz dunt u luv how i ttly mentiund u ther??//?). Also, how does the red tips thing work? Surely when she cuts it off the red tips are cut? Or perhaps after a certain length the hair turns red inexplicably... I love how her tears are blue, how else is one to have "blue eyes like limpid tears"? Amy Lee references are the first indication that this will be very loosely based on Harry Potter, because, let's face it, how many of the actual Harry Potter characters have heard of Amy Lee?

If people like these I'll make some more... I can analyse my ass off because I really love picking holes in horrendously bad stuff :P