Sunday, 6 March 2011

My Immortal

So bad it's good. Those are the usual terms to describe a person's reaction to this famed fanfiction. My Immortal is a fanfiction very loosely based on the Potterverse but its most remarkable quality is the fact that it ticks all boxes in the check list "Things fanfiction should NEVER EVER do".

Let's analyse the first sentence (trust me, it's enough):

"Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)."

Her name is the most ridiculous over the top Mary Sue this I have ever read, not to mention the gratuitous apostrophe in Dark'ness... On the topic of her hair, I thought babies had a very indefinite light-ish hair colour until they grew up. My friend had blonde hair until the age of 3 and now he has dark brown hair (AN: Robz dunt u luv how i ttly mentiund u ther??//?). Also, how does the red tips thing work? Surely when she cuts it off the red tips are cut? Or perhaps after a certain length the hair turns red inexplicably... I love how her tears are blue, how else is one to have "blue eyes like limpid tears"? Amy Lee references are the first indication that this will be very loosely based on Harry Potter, because, let's face it, how many of the actual Harry Potter characters have heard of Amy Lee?

If people like these I'll make some more... I can analyse my ass off because I really love picking holes in horrendously bad stuff :P